goals for 2009
- get better grades in school
- LOSE WEIGHT- GYM!! this is the most i've ever weighed in my life.. wtf i dont know how it happened..
- car !!
- pay off debt and save money
- stop shopping ( but its so HARD)
- make more effort to keep in touch w friends
- transfer already
- figure out what i want to do ...educational wise
- try new things
- cook more efficiently
- make more friends. lol.. i never thought i'd say thought.. but i have only a few close DOWN girlfriends.
to be honest its like
Boyfriend... tues/wed
group A . coa friends. Angie and Nai. or
group B. cowrkers. Kristine and Alyssa.
occasionally... bel leanna minnie
and then once in awhile
high school girls... tina theresa kitty monica
then on college breaks..jason and geo
besides that i dont hang out with a multitiude of people anymore. thats ok
i'm usually too busy with school or work..
i cant believe i've been working at the rack for almost a year in march.
i really have those days when i hate my job though.. strict bitchy russian manager who gets on my nerves sometimes.
like when i spent 2 hours of my life.. zipping up dad status outerwear
but i like spending time with the 2 cowrkers, and of course the occasional perks.. of cute clothes.
basically designer denim for 52.90 thats actual value is 250up and 9.97 shirts that are really 7.80.
but eh yeah retail was probably bad for my bank account
i'm not even gonna lie, i've become a label whore.. i spot it more.. more up to date w things. don't get me wrong im still a pretty cheap shopper, but macy's has started to look ghetto and cheap quality to me.. not ALL things but just younger looking.
2 weeks ago my grandma passed away (moms side). i think the biggest impact it had was on my mom as she spent like the last 4 years taking her free time to drive her to chemo.. doc appts.. hospital. and for the past 2 months my mom has been spending time w her everyday. i remember in 4th grade when my grandfather (dad side) passed away, I remember I wasn't really that close to him, but it was my first wake up call to death. I remember before going into the wake, I wasn't prepared to witness what was actually going on. I remember everyone entering the room... and I was urging my mother to take me where everyone else was going. I remember the moment I walked in and i saw his body laying peacfully in the coffin, I was completely in shock. I remember just thinking to myself for the next 4 hours "i SHOULD HAVE WAITED". Looking at his body being physically there made me realize he was really gone. I remember I was too taken by emotion to make a speech like my siblings did. It wasn't that I knew him that well, it was like the first day I had met death. I remmeber for a month after his funeral, thinking to myself.. where do we go.. do we just rot in the ground? and i thought about his body being eaten by bugs... and i wondered to myself who would go to my funeral.. what song would i want played.. what would be say about me.
Anyways back to the recent death of my grandma, I was actually close to her, not as close as I wanted, but we grew up eating her food all the time, her and my grandma taking care of us at their house watching repeated disney movies, she actually only spoke cantonese for all of her life even though she had come to America at 18, the only reason I had wanted to learn cantonese and if anything felt really bad about not knowing how to communicate with her. I remember she would always say "oh, you have such pretty skin" because you are pale. Being as my older brother is dark as a filipino guy and my sister passes as filipino too.. somehow I am the most pale of my intermediate family. I remember she would say how I was so "pretty" and my sister was just cute and she'd say your one of my favorites.. don't tell your sister. She always had a big smile on her face and even though we didn't have many conversations, that woman cooked like hell. My grandpa and her would go through phases where they would cook something alot like pumpkin/apple pies, cinnamon rolls, pizza, chow mein, won ton, even mexican tamales. I remember my brother would eat half a pumpkin pie everyday after school. I can't even eat a cinnamon roll to this day, we had like 37648236432 of them.
I guess what was interesting about her funeral was that it was a memorial. My grandpa didn't like the idea of her being "refrigerated", so she was cremated beforehand. I felt the memorial didn't have the same seriousness as there was no body to be viewed. To me I feel like having your body viewed or there physically as people came to say their goodbyes and paid their respect to you, it would be as if you were actually there anyways, so that as you went.. either buried or cremated you were there for all of your life.. hence birth. My grandpa had wanted all of it to be family only, but it was kinda sad because I felt if people wanted to pay their respects then it should be open. He wanted it so simple, that it was almost no point in even going. A funeral isn't a vip party, its a open ended ending event of a person's life, and in your life you meet all sorts of people good and bad. His reasoning was that he didn't want the people that treated my grandmother badly to come for the wrong reasons. the worse part of the memorial was when my weird fat aunt (everyone hates, one of those distant realtives) , her phone rings and she answers it. talk about DISRESPECT AND TACKY! it was already bad that it rang, but she ANSWERED it. to be continued later
- get better grades in school
- LOSE WEIGHT- GYM!! this is the most i've ever weighed in my life.. wtf i dont know how it happened..
- car !!
- pay off debt and save money
- stop shopping ( but its so HARD)
- make more effort to keep in touch w friends
- transfer already
- figure out what i want to do ...educational wise
- try new things
- cook more efficiently
- make more friends. lol.. i never thought i'd say thought.. but i have only a few close DOWN girlfriends.
to be honest its like
Boyfriend... tues/wed
group A . coa friends. Angie and Nai. or
group B. cowrkers. Kristine and Alyssa.
occasionally... bel leanna minnie
and then once in awhile
high school girls... tina theresa kitty monica
then on college breaks..jason and geo
besides that i dont hang out with a multitiude of people anymore. thats ok
i'm usually too busy with school or work..
i cant believe i've been working at the rack for almost a year in march.
i really have those days when i hate my job though.. strict bitchy russian manager who gets on my nerves sometimes.
like when i spent 2 hours of my life.. zipping up dad status outerwear
but i like spending time with the 2 cowrkers, and of course the occasional perks.. of cute clothes.
basically designer denim for 52.90 thats actual value is 250up and 9.97 shirts that are really 7.80.
but eh yeah retail was probably bad for my bank account
i'm not even gonna lie, i've become a label whore.. i spot it more.. more up to date w things. don't get me wrong im still a pretty cheap shopper, but macy's has started to look ghetto and cheap quality to me.. not ALL things but just younger looking.
2 weeks ago my grandma passed away (moms side). i think the biggest impact it had was on my mom as she spent like the last 4 years taking her free time to drive her to chemo.. doc appts.. hospital. and for the past 2 months my mom has been spending time w her everyday. i remember in 4th grade when my grandfather (dad side) passed away, I remember I wasn't really that close to him, but it was my first wake up call to death. I remember before going into the wake, I wasn't prepared to witness what was actually going on. I remember everyone entering the room... and I was urging my mother to take me where everyone else was going. I remember the moment I walked in and i saw his body laying peacfully in the coffin, I was completely in shock. I remember just thinking to myself for the next 4 hours "i SHOULD HAVE WAITED". Looking at his body being physically there made me realize he was really gone. I remember I was too taken by emotion to make a speech like my siblings did. It wasn't that I knew him that well, it was like the first day I had met death. I remmeber for a month after his funeral, thinking to myself.. where do we go.. do we just rot in the ground? and i thought about his body being eaten by bugs... and i wondered to myself who would go to my funeral.. what song would i want played.. what would be say about me.
Anyways back to the recent death of my grandma, I was actually close to her, not as close as I wanted, but we grew up eating her food all the time, her and my grandma taking care of us at their house watching repeated disney movies, she actually only spoke cantonese for all of her life even though she had come to America at 18, the only reason I had wanted to learn cantonese and if anything felt really bad about not knowing how to communicate with her. I remember she would always say "oh, you have such pretty skin" because you are pale. Being as my older brother is dark as a filipino guy and my sister passes as filipino too.. somehow I am the most pale of my intermediate family. I remember she would say how I was so "pretty" and my sister was just cute and she'd say your one of my favorites.. don't tell your sister. She always had a big smile on her face and even though we didn't have many conversations, that woman cooked like hell. My grandpa and her would go through phases where they would cook something alot like pumpkin/apple pies, cinnamon rolls, pizza, chow mein, won ton, even mexican tamales. I remember my brother would eat half a pumpkin pie everyday after school. I can't even eat a cinnamon roll to this day, we had like 37648236432 of them.
I guess what was interesting about her funeral was that it was a memorial. My grandpa didn't like the idea of her being "refrigerated", so she was cremated beforehand. I felt the memorial didn't have the same seriousness as there was no body to be viewed. To me I feel like having your body viewed or there physically as people came to say their goodbyes and paid their respect to you, it would be as if you were actually there anyways, so that as you went.. either buried or cremated you were there for all of your life.. hence birth. My grandpa had wanted all of it to be family only, but it was kinda sad because I felt if people wanted to pay their respects then it should be open. He wanted it so simple, that it was almost no point in even going. A funeral isn't a vip party, its a open ended ending event of a person's life, and in your life you meet all sorts of people good and bad. His reasoning was that he didn't want the people that treated my grandmother badly to come for the wrong reasons. the worse part of the memorial was when my weird fat aunt (everyone hates, one of those distant realtives) , her phone rings and she answers it. talk about DISRESPECT AND TACKY! it was already bad that it rang, but she ANSWERED it. to be continued later
